By : Jessica R Bunevacz
First of all, I don’t believe in too much space or too much time apart. I have seen a lot of couples fall apart because of too much time away from each other.
If you are in a healthy relationship with your significant other, why choose to be away from him or her? Wouldn’t you rather be with your partner rather than be elsewhere? For most couples who have been together for so many years should know if their spouses need space or a little break from their significant other. I believe you need some time for yourself. If you have been feeling like you need more and more space from each other then that is not a good sign.
These are times or moments you need space from each other:
- When you are arguing about something and begin yelling at each other, If you think the conversation is not going anywhere then it is useless to continue arguing. , Keep quiet a, get out and give them the space that they need.
- When you are stressed with work, too much time with the kids, or you’re just simply exhausted, you definitely need time to be away for a while, maybe have drinks with friends, or just watch TV alone or maybe do some on line shopping. Decompress.
- When you are never apart. You and your significant other can’t always be together, trust me you will get tired of each other—fast. Give each other some time to enjoy themselves everyday for just a few hours. You would want to need that few hours of alone time for yourself.
- When you feel you get easily irate as soon as she/he speaks or suggests anything. This is not a good sign. You need to ask yourself why you feel this way and start to think how to work this out.
I need some time for myself.. What is the right time for this?
I believe we all need a couple of hours a day to do the things that can benefit us or things we enjoy doing. Because if not we would go crazy and may not be a happy wife and mother. This includes exercising, shopping, having coffee or lunch with girl friends, a visit to the spa, facial, or anything that is therapeutic for you.
We can do all these things after dropping off kids at school. Morning till noon is the best time to spend on yourself. You can do this everyday, or at least 4 times a week. I am a strong believer in the power of a girls night out or a boys night out. Do this once a month or even two times a months. During the week you will wake up happy and ready to be a good partner to your spouse. Just remember to spend this time effectively. Hang out with a good couple and not people that will encourage bad habits.
Point # 3
When you feel you need more space apart:
If you are feeling this way, you need to ask yourself, why? This question can be “Why do I feel happier when I am not around my spouse?” or “Why do I enjoy the company of other people as opposed to being with my spouse?” “Why do I rather spend time with my kids than my spouse?” If you start feeling this way, it means there is something going on with your relationship that you are not happy about. You then need to address this with your spouse and start talking about it. Analyze what the problem is. You can’t keep this to yourself. It will not go away, it will only get worse and eventually lead to something that will not be good for your family. Talk and work it out.
For someone who’s been single till 40 and co dependent people:
These people need a lot of space in their relationships since they spent half of their lives single. If you are married to one, expect that he or she will need more time apart from you, and this, you cannot change. For them, it gives them more excitement to be apart from you. He will appreciate you better the more space you give. However this doesn’t mean that completely ignore your significant other. Remember to still send him or her text messages just to remind them that they are in your thoughts.
On the other hand, the co-dependent person is very opposite. I am married to one and I know he cannot be alone and that I have to be with him all the time, even when he travels for work. You just have to accept this and get your alone time when he is working or with his friends.